The Power of Positive Discipline in Early Childhood
As caregivers and educators, we all desire to raise happy, well-adjusted children who possess strong values and self-control. Discipline plays a crucial role in shaping children’s behavior and character. At wBees, we find that by implementing positive discipline and other positive and trauma-informed practices, we can create a rich and cultivating environment for all of our students. Here, we will explore the concept of positive discipline in early childhood and discuss its benefits for both children and caregivers.
What is Positive Discipline? Positive discipline is an approach to parenting and caregiving that focuses on guiding and teaching children rather than resorting to punishments or rewards. It aims to foster a loving and respectful relationship between caregivers and children while promoting self-discipline, problem-solving skills, and healthy emotional development.
Key Principles of Positive Discipline:
Mutual Respect: Positive discipline emphasizes the importance of treating children with respect, acknowledging their feelings, and listening to their perspectives. It encourages caregivers to model respectful behavior and interactions. You can do this at home by modeling it with the other adults and children in the home and outside of the home.
Setting Clear Boundaries: Clear and consistent boundaries help children understand what is expected of them. Positive discipline involves setting age-appropriate limits while involving children in rule-making processes. This way, they feel empowered and responsible for their actions. As your child how they feel that they can contribute to the daily tasks that need to be done. Explain to them in clear language how and why we have certain boundaries and expectations and emphasize that they can rise to the occasion!
Encouraging Positive Behavior: Instead of solely focusing on correcting negative behavior, positive discipline promotes the reinforcement of positive actions. It involves acknowledging children when they display desired behaviors, which boosts their self-esteem and motivation to continue behaving well.
Some language you can use is: “Wow, I just saw how you put away all of the art materials back in their space all by yourself. Thank you for helping keep the house clean and tidy! That’s such a huge help!”
“You’re being really kind by checking in on your little brother that just fell and got hurt. You’re so thoughtful and caring! I’m sure he really appreciates that!”
“I love when you help me at the grocery store to pick out the items we need to make dinner. You’re so gentle the way you hold the eggs and put the bananas in the cart! Thank you for being my helper and making this job fun!”
Effective Communication: Positive discipline encourages open and effective communication between caregivers and children. It involves active listening, empathy, and understanding. By fostering healthy communication, children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions, leading to more productive problem-solving.
Steps to do this can look like- validating your child’s feelings, asking for their opinions, expressing your own emotions to them, explaining in calm and clear language why things are the way they are, and letting them know they are heard.
Benefits of Positive Discipline:
Promotes Self-Discipline: Positive discipline helps children develop inner self-control and the ability to make responsible choices. Instead of relying on external rewards or punishments, they learn to understand the consequences of their actions and make better decisions.
Builds Healthy Relationships: By focusing on respectful and empathetic communication, positive discipline nurtures strong relationships. It fosters trust, understanding, and emotional connection, creating a secure and loving environment for children to thrive in.
Enhances Emotional Intelligence: Positive discipline emphasizes recognizing and understanding emotions. By validating their feelings, children develop emotional intelligence, learning to regulate their emotions and communicate effectively.
Encourages Problem-Solving Skills: With positive discipline, children are encouraged to think critically and solve problems on their own. By involving them in finding solutions, caregivers empower children to become independent thinkers and decision-makers.
Try to avoid doing all tasks or answering all of their questions. It can be tempting but what’s so much more rewarding is seeing how proud they are of themselves when children figure out they can do things by themselves. Like we always say to our littles, you can do hard things!
Develops Resilience and Responsibility: Positive discipline helps children learn from their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. It teaches them that setbacks are opportunities for growth, fostering resilience and a growth mindset.
Implementing Positive Discipline Strategies:
Lead by Example: Children learn from observing their caregivers' behavior. Model respectful communication, problem-solving, and self-discipline to set a positive example.
One of my favorite ways to do this is by solving conflicts in front of children. Whether it be personal troubles or arguments with other adults, active conflict resolution is a wonderful example and will leave a lasting impression on children.
Create a Safe and Nurturing Environment: A warm and secure environment is essential for positive discipline. Ensure your child feels loved and supported while maintaining consistent boundaries.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Encourage positive behavior by acknowledging your child's efforts. This reinforces their confidence and motivation to continue behaving well. Just be wary of not praising constantly. We avoid language like “good job” or “well done” to not focus on the outcome or product of an action or behavior but rather focus on the effort put into doing the action and all of the mental, physical, and/or psychological work it took for the child to make it to that point. By emphasizing and describing their efforts, we boost their image of their abilities rather than their outcomes which can lead toa more positive self-view.
Instead of “Great job, what a pretty drawing” you can say, “I love the way you made so many different marks. I see blue and red and dark green and so many different shapes. Can you tell me more about it? I’d love to learn more about how you made this!”
Instead of “Good work clearing your dish after dinner!” you can say, “Thank you for clearing your plate! That was very helpful and will make dishwashing much easier! I appreciate your help!”
Positive discipline aligns closely with the principles and practices of Montessori pedagogy, making it an excellent fit for parents seeking an approach rooted in respect and individuality. Here are some specific ways positive discipline is implemented in Montessori education:
Respect for the Child: Montessori philosophy recognizes the innate dignity and worth of every child. Positive discipline in Montessori classrooms emphasizes treating each child with respect, valuing their individuality, and acknowledging their unique strengths and challenges.
Prepared Environment: The Montessori classroom is meticulously prepared to meet the developmental needs of children. Similarly, positive discipline encourages parents to create an environment at home that is orderly, safe, and filled with age-appropriate activities and materials. This environment allows children to explore, make choices, and learn independently.
Freedom with Responsibility: Montessori promotes freedom within limits, which is in line with positive discipline principles. Children are given the freedom to choose their activities, work at their own pace, and make decisions within established boundaries. This freedom fosters self-discipline and a sense of responsibility for their actions.
Natural Consequences: In both Montessori and positive discipline, natural consequences are valued over punishment. When a child makes a mistake or behaves inappropriately, the consequences of their actions are allowed to unfold naturally, providing valuable learning experiences. For example, if a child spills water while pouring, they learn the consequence of being careful and can participate in cleaning up the mess.
Grace and Courtesy: Montessori education places a strong emphasis on teaching grace and courtesy. Positive discipline also recognizes the importance of social skills and manners. Caregivers and Montessori educators teach children how to interact respectfully, express gratitude, and resolve conflicts peacefully.
Role of the Guide/Caregiver: In Montessori, the teacher serves as a guide who observes, supports, and facilitates the child's learning. Similarly, positive discipline encourages caregivers to be guides rather than authoritative figures. They provide guidance, set clear expectations, and support their child's development while allowing for autonomy and independence.
Self-Correction and Self-Discipline: Montessori materials are designed to allow children to self-correct their mistakes and learn independently. Positive discipline encourages caregivers to facilitate self-correction by guiding children to reflect on their actions, make amends, and learn from their experiences. This process develops self-discipline and problem-solving skills.
By incorporating positive discipline within the Montessori framework, caregivers can create a harmonious home environment that aligns with the principles of respect, independence, and holistic development advocated by Montessori pedagogy.
Check out this Free Positive Discipline Workshop by Dr. Jazmine McCoy
