Navigating Separation Anxiety
As the beginning of the school year approaches, many families find themselves grappling with the challenges of separation anxiety and big transitions for their children. Whether you’re a returning family or new to the preschool experience, it’s important to understand that these feelings are completely normal and part of healthy development. This blog post aims to normalize separation anxiety and provide you with practical strategies to help your little ones (and yourselves!) navigate this exciting yet challenging time.
Understanding Separation Anxiety: The Science Behind It
Separation anxiety is a common and natural part of childhood development. It usually appears around 6 to 8 months of age and can peak between 10 and 18 months. However, it can reappear during big transitions, such as starting preschool or the start of a new school year. This anxiety stems from your child’s attachment to you, which signifies a healthy and secure bond. When children are separated from their primary caregivers, they might feel anxious because they rely on you for comfort and security.
The brain plays a significant role in this process. The amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing emotions, is particularly active in young children. When a toddler experiences separation, the amygdala sends signals that trigger feelings of distress. Understanding this can help you empathize with your child’s experience and respond with patience and care.
Tips to Ease Separation Anxiety
Establish a Routine:
Children thrive on predictability. Establish a consistent morning routine that includes time for a calm and unrushed start. This helps create a sense of security and makes the transition smoother.
Practice Short Separations:
Gradually introduce your toddler to short periods of separation. Start with leaving them with a trusted caregiver for a few minutes and gradually increase the time. This helps them build confidence in your return. For our wBees transition to the start of the school year, we scaffold the process by beginning with shorter days and then transitioning to full days. We work with each family to adjust the schedule to your child’s needs. We sometimes suggest more half days depending on what benefits the child most.
Create Goodbye Rituals:
Develop a special goodbye ritual that is brief but meaningful. It could be a secret handshake, a special hug, or a fun phrase. This helps your child feel connected to you even when you’re apart.
Stay Calm and Positive:
Children are perceptive and can pick up on your emotions. If you remain calm and positive, it reassures your child that everything will be okay. Avoid lingering goodbyes, as this can increase anxiety. We recommend quick and solid goodbyes. The longer you linger, the more confusing it is for your child. Reassure them that you will be back (or see them later), let them know who is picking them up, and leave with a confident goodbye. Always know that teachers are ready to provide ample comfort and snuggles to any child that has big feelings about separating from their caregivers.
Use Comfort Objects:
Allow your child to bring a comfort object, such as a favorite stuffed animal or blankie, to school. This provides a tangible reminder of home and can offer comfort during moments of separation. We ask all families to bring in photos of important people, places, and objects in your child’s life to make their “All About Me” book. This book lives in the classroom and is always available to children to look at when they’re missing their families or want to share with others about the important people in their lives. We encourage families to update photos as big life events happen, too!
Talk About School Positively:
Speak positively about the school, teachers, and activities. Share exciting aspects of their day, such as making new friends, playing with toys, and learning new things. This builds anticipation and curiosity.
Read Books About Separation:
There are many children’s books that address separation anxiety and starting school. Reading these together can help your child understand and normalize their feelings.
Communicate with Teachers:
Maintain open communication with your child’s teaching team. They can provide insights into how your child is adjusting and offer additional support if needed. We will communicate with you through Brightwheel about how your child is doing and their transition into the school routine. The more communication and partnership, the easier it is on the child and the home-to-school connection!
Uplifting Your Child
Remember, your confidence and reassurance play a crucial role in how your child copes with separation anxiety. Here are a few ways to uplift your toddler during this transition:
Celebrate Small Wins:
Acknowledge and celebrate small milestones, such as successfully completing a school day without tears. This boosts your child’s confidence and sense of achievement.
Encourage Independence:
Foster independence by allowing your child to make simple choices, such as picking out their clothes or choosing a snack. This empowers them and builds self-esteem.
Provide Quality Time:
Spend quality time with your child outside of school hours. Engaging in activities they enjoy reinforces your bond and provides a sense of stability. For children who spend long days at school (for example, Extended Day kids) we recommend spending some quality time before drop-off to fill their connection cup. This can greatly impact their comfort levels as they say goodbye.
Validate Their Feelings:
Acknowledge your child’s feelings of anxiety and reassure them that it’s okay to feel this way. Let them know that you understand and are there to support them.
Starting preschool and experiencing separation anxiety are significant milestones for both toddlers and parents. By understanding the science behind separation anxiety and implementing practical strategies, you can help your child navigate this transition with confidence and ease. Remember, your love and support are the foundation of your child’s ability to cope with new experiences. The wBees team is here to support you and guide you through these big transitions. We have your child’s best interests at heart and aim to give them a home away from home at wBees. Here’s to a wonderful and exciting school year ahead!
