Big Transitions
As the days slowly grow shorter and autumn gets closer, it’s normal to start to feel butterflies as we begin to think about all of the changes that come with school starting soon. It’s healthy to start thinking of these changes early on and plan for what is to come. As we start to embrace the coming of a new school year, here are some tips for entering and navigating big transitions smoothly.
START THE CONVERSATION
It can feel tricky to know where to start, but it can really be as simple as just beginning to talk about it. If your child is a returning student, you can start talking about returning to wBees for another school year with new teachers and a new classroom. If your child has been at another school/daycare and is new to ours, you can mention some similarities and differences between the schools. If your child has never been in daycare or school before, talk to them about what a school is, who is at the school, and what activities they will do.
Having casual conversations about the transition early on allows this concept of “starting school” not to feel so overwhelming. Avoid having one big and dense conversation but instead, mention things gradually. One day you can mention the new teachers, and their names, and show them a picture from our website. Another day, you can talk about the routine, going to the park, playing with other children, lunchtime, etc. Another day, you can focus on the fact that they will nap at school and tell them about sleeping on a cot and that they can take a special stuffy with them for nap time. Turn it all into small bite-size pieces, and let them digest it slowly. Pictures are a great way to help them visualize what they will see when they are finally living it. This can be in the form of a book or even the images on our website.
STARTING WITH SOME BASICS & TAKING THOSE FIRST STEPS
While your child’s teachers have nothing but their safety and comfort in mind during these first few days, there are some steps you can take at home to prepare them with some basics that can go a long way. Some simple terms you can start teaching your child are:
“Space, please”
“Stop” or “I don’t like that.”
“I need help.”
“I’m not done yet.”
Teaching them simple terms to express their needs and feelings goes a long way in helping them communicate with their teachers and peers.
You can also start preparing your child by getting into the groove of things at home. Some first steps can be:
Start waking up and preparing for the day as if you would during a school day. Set their wake-up and sleep schedule before the first week of school. Have them get dressed, eat breakfast, and involve them in the morning preparations as much as possible as you would during a regular weekday during the school year. This will prepare them both physically and psychologically for what will be expected during weekday mornings once the school year begins.
Making walks to the school. If you plan to walk/stroller/bike to school, you can take the opportunity to make the trip from home to school, so you and your child can become familiar with that new routine. When you pass by the school, you can mention what door they will walk in through.
Another walk you can make with your child is to the park. We walk daily to the local parks in our neighborhood (Rosemary’s and Grover Cleveland Park). As you walk, you can mention that they will be holding onto the colorful rope with their classmates, and a teacher will lead them.
PRACTICE SAFE WALKING
One of the most crucial things we ask caregivers to focus on is safe walking and safety outdoors. While we talk and practice extensively with children at the beginning of the year and throughout the school year about outdoor safety, walking on the sidewalk, and park safety, it’s key for this to be mirrored at home. At wBees, we walk to and from the park daily. Children are expected to hold onto the walking rope, listen to instructions from teachers, and walk independently.
You can help set up for child for success by practicing this summer:
Talk about street safety while you’re out and about! What are the differences between the sidewalk and the road? Where do bikes and cars go and where do people go? When the sidewalk ends, we stop and look out for cars. When we cross the street, we’re extra careful and look both ways.
Talk to your children about the different street safety signs, such as the “stop” hand and the “walking person”. Have them spy for these when walking on the street and explain why they’re important.
Practice walking- If your child is used to being in a stroller or held when commuting, allow them to hold your hand or the side of the stroller and practice walking. Explain what safe walking looks like and make it clear that running is saved for park time where it is safe.
Show your child how to hold your hand instead of holding onto them- When we walk on the rope, children will need to hold onto the loop. By encouraging your child to hold onto your hand or holding onto a rope, the side of the stroller, or your wrist, they can practice what it feels like for them to have the responsibility of holding on instead of their caregiver holding onto them.
When playing at the park- designate a “play area” where your child can play freely within the limits of a designated space. Explain why a caregiver always needs to be able to see them and how staying within these boundaries allows them to be safe while playing freely and having fun.
Working with your child consistently throughout the year to set these expectations will provide for a wonderful reinforcement of our outdoor cycle and will fortify the safety measures we practice daily at wBees to keep your child, the entire classroom, and our teachers safe.
WHAT TO CHANGE, WHAT TO KEEP THE SAME
For some children, change can feel particularly overwhelming. As their caretakers, it’s our responsibility to help them navigate those feelings and the process of moving through big transitions. One way to help is to mediate the number of changes going on at once. During these early years, it’s easy to get caught up in the forthcoming milestones like potty training, eating independently, napping away from home, etc. As school starts, it’s recommended to ease the number of large changes or transitions to allow children to focus their energy on one thing at a time. If you’re wondering if your child is ready for potty training a week before school starts, it might be best to wait off until they’re comfortable with their new school routine.
The start of the school year is filled with checklists, to-do lists, and lots of new schedules and items. But there are benefits to keeping certain things the same. If you find that your child gets overwhelmed by large amounts of change, keeping the same backpack and water bottle can be a grounding thing for them. You can try to delay buying new clothes and shoes for a few weeks, so they feel comfortable wearing things that they already know. A new school year doesn’t need to bring all new changes; some familiarity can actually be quite beneficial. For the necessary changes, like introducing a lunchbox or wearing a rain suit, you can practice this during the weeks leading up to school, such as having their usual lunch at home or their current daycare or summer camp in their new lunchbox or taking advantage of the next rainy day (or even the sprinklers at the park) to test out the new rain suit, so they know how it feels to wear it. This is a time to follow their lead and include them in the process.
The most important thing to remember is that all children are different, and each will react differently to big changes, and that’s ok! These are opportunities to know their limits, understand their boundaries, and help them regulate their emotions and balance their feelings and thoughts during busy times.
TREAD CALMLY & WORK THROUGH TOUGH EMOTIONS
As overwhelming as this can all feel, it’s important to move through these processes calmly. Remember, your child looks to you for both comfort and as an example. Children feed off of our energy, so try to stay grounded as you navigate these busy times but also don’t mask the very real feelings that will inevitably arise. One of the most important skills we as adults can teach children is how to regulate our emotions. When things get a bit wild, say that, and reflect on how you can use strategies to find some peace.
Normalizing the feelings that arise during changing times is important. You can mention how you feel as an example, “Wow, I’m feeling very overwhelmed right now. But I’m going to take some deep breaths to calm my body and mind.” Talking out loud during moments like these and being candid in front of children create a wonderful model for them to later use when they are in a similar situation. If you notice your child feeling nervous or scared, invite them to talk about it and offer suggestions for some comfort:
“I see you look worried when we talk about school. How do you feel about it? Would you like to read a book about what types of things you might do at school?” Offering them guidance helps them to feel supported and seen and teaches them that feeling uncomfortable emotions is normal. Most importantly, naming and recognizing these feelings is a huge first step in learning how to regulate them adequately.
Furthermore, it is important to let children know they will be safe and in good hands. Talk to them about their teachers and how they will be there to help when they feel sad, need help in the bathroom, or can help them with tasks they’re in the process of mastering, like putting on shoes or opening their snacks. All children have basic needs for security and safety, and they usually relate them directly to their primary caregivers. Letting them know that their teachers will also be able to provide that can help ease their worry.
Whether this is another school year or the very first, please know that your child’s teachers and the wBees staff are here to support you and your child through these transitions. Communication is key, and if you have any insights into self-soothing practices that you use with your child, feel free to share that with us.
We’re so excited to start the school year together!
With love and peace,
Victoria
Some book recommendations to start the conversation at home:
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
Lola Goes to School by Anna McQuinn
The Invisible String by Patrice Krast
Bye Bye Time by Elizabeth Verdick
Our Class is a Family by Shannon Olsen
